Sunday, May 3, 2009


sometimes i'm real motivated to keep this, but most of the time i don't think twice about it. here are some ramblings and things going on in my head and in my heart:

(list usual...i'm a list maker)

1. tax return came in. more than i thought. hooray for being a dependent. i have, however, had a strangely hard time purchasing anything other than gas and the necessities with it. i'm trying to convince myself that i need to be responsible with it. and i can't justify spending $50 on a top, no matter how much i like it. so this spring/summer i will not be able to call myself a trendsetter. how sad. growing up can be a drag.

2. i'm clumsy and have a low self esteem. used to, i was okay with this. now i'm not. my legs are covered in bruises from the countless falls and trips i take. my boyfriend tells me i need to be more careful and be aware of my surroundings. it's easy when he's here - he just carries me everywhere. he doesn't let me fall, but when he's gone...well...then he's gone. and i don't like that. my low self esteem is also something i've been working on. except i really don't know how to work on it. i do little things like not allowing myself to look through magazines or other people's myspace/facebook pictures because i always get down on myself. but lately that just isn't enough. i pray about it. my identity is in Christ. but who and what does He want me to be? so if anyone has a suggestion on how to work on low self esteem...please let me know.

3. in America - about 200 people out of 300 million have swine flu. i'm not sure how this constitutes as an epidemic. but good news texas - 23 million of us don't have it.

4. i think it's much easier to love someone than to like someone. i really struggle with liking many people.

5. there are a lot of wonderful people in my life. i'm blessed.

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